When in doubt, send a card
It’s been nearly 2 years (really?) since my mother died.
Tonight, I was cleaning out some stuff, and decided to tackle the box of things related to her funeral. You know them, the extra programs, the flower cards, the left over, “The Family of __________ thanks you for your sincere expression of sympathy”, cards.
It was all crammed in a box where I apparently thought I’d sort it out later.
Welcome to later.
Anyway, I was now prepared to get rid of most of it and I did, except for the most important things.
It’s hard for me to throw away cards of any sort, but I had no idea what to do with the sympathy cards, so, I went through them. There were so many nice cards from so many people, including some of you, some I didn’t even remember getting, so I was so glad I had saved them.
I saved a couple, one of my favorites being from my kindergarten teacher, and threw the rest away, and it was OK. It was time.
However, it reminded me of a promise I had made to myself at that time. Whenever know someone who has a death in the family, I’m going to send a card, even if I’m not sure if I know them “well enough”.
It really made a difference to me and I hope I can do the same for someone else.
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POSTED IN: Bereavement
4 opinions for When in doubt, send a card
midlife mommy
May 30, 2008 at 4:33 am
Ironically, I have been going through my mother’s things (she died last September). She saved everything from her parents’ funerals. But, I’m glad she did. It was oddly comforting to read the letters sent to my mother after she lost HER mom, which letters also reached out to me. I don’t think I will throw any of it away. I guess I’m just as much of a packrat as my mom was. Almost.
Bluegrass Mama
May 30, 2008 at 5:45 am
I was cleaning out the mess of stuff in the bottom of my nightstand this weekend, and found a huge box of sympathy cards and papers from when my mother died 10 years ago. I saved the obituary and a copy of the eulogy we’d written (and made my husband deliver), but I confess that I threw away all the cards without even looking a them. But you are right–they meant a great deal to me at the time.
JayMonster
May 30, 2008 at 8:42 am
OK, so maybe I am a bit of a weirdo… but, I scanned in and saved all the cards we got when my father passed away. I don’t know that I will go to them again, but since it only too a couple of hundred MB of hard-drive space this way, it is easy to keep them this way, just in case I want to.
cb
May 31, 2008 at 12:40 am
I remember I was quite young and staying with my grandmother when she died. After her death, I was at my uncle’s house and I remember him saying how important the cards were (and mostly talking about friends that hadn’t acknowledged his mother’s death). Although I was quite young, I have always tried to drop a card when I hear about a death in the family of a friend or colleague.
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