The second anniversary of my mother’s death
This past Sunday was the second anniversary of my mother’s death.
I would tell you how it went for me, but I was out of town and had my dates mixed up and I thought Sunday was the 19th rather than the 20th. When I finally became oriented to date and time, I did pretty well with the whole thing, it’s just really still so strange to me, almost surreal.
I didn’t talk to my dad that day because I was flying most of it, and I thought the significant day was the next day anyway.
I know he’s not going to forget about it or anything, but I still don’t really know what to say to him, sometimes. His mother was very strict when he was growing up, and he was always instructed that you don’t talk about personal things with people and it’s very much stuck with him.
If I wanted to talk to him I could, but he’s not going to reveal much about how he’s doing with it, so there ya go.
My mother always said that as you get older, you get more used to people dying. You don’t necessarily enjoy it, but it’s more naturally a “part of the plan” than it is when you are younger.
The only time I’ve really asked him how he was “doing”, he reflexively replied, “Fine, and you?” as he is not really a member of the Therapy Generation.
I think he’s bored to death here in the middle of the summer, I’m looking forward to him being back to work (he’s a high school teacher) because we certainly aren’t doing anything all that entertaining what with kids needing to go here, there and yonder.
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POSTED IN: Bereavement, My Mother
4 opinions for The second anniversary of my mother’s death
midlife mommy
Jul 23, 2008 at 11:20 am
Yesterday would have been my mom’s 80th birthday, and it is the first July 22nd without her. It was weird not to call her. I’ve decided, as a birthday present to my mom, and to her parents (the only grandparents I ever knew), that I will donate to the organization that is working hard to keep whatever disease took them from taking someone else’s loved one. I would much rather be buying her jewelry that she won’t wear, but it is what it is.
Hugs to you.
Lynne
Jul 23, 2008 at 3:47 pm
For me the past (almost) two years have gone by so quickly. I don’t remember years flying by this quickly before. As the two year mark approaches I find myself constantly repeating “omg, it’s almost two years already”!
Yet now I sit here typing these (almost) two years have seemed like an eternity - does that make sense?
Unlike your dad, mine verbalizes a lot. He has Bad days and better days, none he’s told me are good. Whatever he does, wherever he is, is a constant reminder my mom isn’t there with him.
From where I stand he’s doing much much better. He can talk about her now without choking up, look at a photo without tearing and remember the memories without cursing God for not giving him time to make more with her.
Today I’m thinking of all the moms who are no longer with us…
Trisha
Jul 25, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Sorry to hear that!
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Aug 23, 2008 at 8:45 am
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