Seeking help with elder care isn’t “copping out”
I ran across this article about the work pressures faced by women of the sandwich generation who have jobs outside the home. Maybe I’m reading into it, but, even though it says work is putting this pressure on women, it seems like there’s an undertone (starting with the title) in the article that implies women employ outside services for elder care because they would rather purse a career than fulfill their caregiver role.
The fact is, taking advantage of elder care resources in the community whether you are employed outside the home or not, doesn’t amount to shirking caregiver duties or “copping out”. Seeking help that can come in many forms, is critical for those people caring for young children and aging parent. There are no medals given out for doing it alone.
Tags: Caregiver, Sandwich_Generation, seeking-helpRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Media
8 opinions for Seeking help with elder care isn’t “copping out”
Kate
May 25, 2006 at 11:20 pm
Break-less work is not work, it’s drudgery. And doing it is not only a sacrifice, it can be physically (think of your back) and emotionally (think of the isolation).
Community resources like Eldercare are a lifeline not just for caregivers, but for elders themselves. Why shouldn’t they have other faces to see, a little variety in their lives?
cmhl
May 26, 2006 at 7:02 am
I think you HAVE to have help, to keep some sort of sanity. especially with people depending on you from both ends of the age spectrum..
Karen
May 26, 2006 at 7:40 am
It is not copping out. I had to place my father who had dementia in an “assisted lving” locked unit. I was trying to take care of him while babysitting my granddaughter. I felt guilty about doing it for such a long time, but soon I had to face facts.
You have to seek whatever help you can find and not feel any guilt.
They call me Ann
May 26, 2006 at 7:42 am
I think you hit the nail on the head. I’m not sure if it is the result of hack-ish writing (”let’s take the essence of the “Mommy Wars” and add a dash of geriatric parents to move more copy”!) or blaming the average citizen for the horrible care older folks without funds some time receive.
Alice
Jul 28, 2006 at 7:04 am
You are so right!
“There are no medals given out for doing it alone.”
The martyr syndrome needs to be stamped out!
GenBetween » More on caring for parents
Dec 28, 2006 at 2:37 pm
[…] I am a big advocate for getting help with care, but, what bugs me about the Forbes article is the tone (possibly unintentional) that implies that executives like the gentleman who is the subject of the article, are heroic in some way because they are “important”, yet, are taking time to manage their aging parents’ care. […]
Sarah Hester
Jan 3, 2007 at 7:29 pm
It’s not just working moms who need a hand. Anyone who assumes primary care for the old needs a hand.
Many daughters and wives find that they have to quit work to provide that care. And they do it. 24/7, like caring for a newborn without the gratification of seeing them become independent individuals.
It’s amazing the value of a simple visit, lasting less than an hour. The aged one treasures it for days, the caregiver might just get a dreadfully needed nap so that they can “sleep” that night again with one ear open for any needs that must be taken care of.
This is no martyr syndrome. Without funds, and lots of them, there aren’t many choices.
sonyalee
Jan 24, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Actually anytime you care for anyone help is an essence. I care for my mother and children, and have purchased ResponseLINK medical alarms. When I am away from home the kids know how to use the alarms as does my mother, and have taken a great deal of stress off of me. These alarms are not just for the elderly, but are for anyone needing a little extra help.
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