Saving Mel Brooks
There’s a touching story on msn.com this morning by Max Brooks, son of the legendary comedian, Mel Brooks. He tells the story of his induction into the Sandwich Generation after his mother, Mel’s wife of 44 years, died.
A few nights later, my father was giving my son a bedtime bottle. I sat watching. His cellphone rang for what must have been the hundredth time that day, but he switched it off without looking, then glanced up at me. “No one knew her like we did,” he said. “No one understands what we’re going through but us.” At that moment, I realized I was now my father’s keeper.
It might have been a solo job, had it not been for my son. As it turns out, the parenting lessons I learned in the months following his birth applied equally well to my dad.
He tells of how the parenting lessons he learned following the birth of his young son help him take care of his father.
One of the most poignant to me:
Put yourself second. I’d just lost my mother, the woman who raised me, nurtured me, protected me. It was a huge blow, and I felt like I needed my father more than ever.
But where was he? Lost, grieving, struggling to make it through each day. I quickly realized that he couldn’t help me through this, and it wasn’t fair for me to expect him to. I still had a family, a life, a future. All my father had was me — I was my parents’ only child. He was helpless. You don’t weigh opportunities like this. You rise to meet them.
I need to remember that.
Interestingly, the discussion that is ensuing over this story included criticism of Max Brooks for portraying something as personal as this. On the contrary, I don’t believe it’s compromising his dignity, I believe the more people who know about caring for elderly parents the better, it’s nice to know that we’re not alone.
(via Jay and Nana, thanks!)
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POSTED IN: Aging Parents, Caregiver
2 opinions for Saving Mel Brooks
Gayle
Mar 16, 2007 at 5:01 am
Instead of being critical of Max Brooks, people should also think about how hard it can be to reveal something this personal about themselves and their loved ones, and how much courage it takes.
A little over three years ago, my family saw my mother through a diagnosis of lung cancer and her passing. My brother, sister, and I now band together and make sure all of my father’s needs are met-that he keeps his doctor’s appointments, etc. These tasks are very personal and it can be difficult to talk about them-but they are also a very bonding experience. They’ve brought us much closer together as a family.
Sarcastro
Mar 17, 2007 at 7:23 pm
Max Brooks is also a foremost zombie expert. He’s aces in my book.
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