Dealing with an overload of family heirlooms
Oh, boy, especially as an only child, I can relate: Baby boomers confront stuff that their parents have left behind.
And, it’s not emotional “stuff” either. It’s actual stuff, and, there’s a lot of it.
One thing I’ve learned since my mother died, is that not everything hailed as needing to be “kept in the family” needs to actually be kept in the family. I’m finally realizing that the items themselves aren’t my family’s tradition or love, it’s the memories we need to pass on.
Even the things deemed the most important, actually just end up in someone’s house until the next heir apparent gets their own house.
My mother was an only child, too, as was her mother, and, like me, she was the official keeper of stuff that belongs “in the family”.
I’ve been avoiding dealing with some of the items at my parent’s house, since it’s really up to me, as my dad is, you know, a boy (kidding, guys), and, he’d just as soon get rid of it all.
I’m bad about holding onto things since I am the end of the line of my immediate family, and, we are also the only viable candidates for stuff in my husband’s family.
But, I’ve realized now that my daughter, as the oldest child and only girl will be in my position someday, and, will have to deal with 4 generations of family heirlooms if I don’t break the cycle.
So, I’ve taken some baby steps to get rid of stuff at my parents house. I will keep some of the things for the future, others I will sell, or, give away to someone appreciative, I’m trying to get better at it.
But, a visit from Clean Sweep sure would help me get on with my education.
Tags: Aging, family-heirlooms, sandwich-generationRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Aging Parents
5 opinions for Dealing with an overload of family heirlooms
What To Get Mother
Dec 19, 2007 at 7:30 am
[…] Dealing with an overload of family heirlooms […]
flybunny
Dec 19, 2007 at 10:53 am
I hear you on this one. My Mom was a saver and right after she died, my Dad found a bunch of stuff that he thought I needed - things like a copy of my wedding registry. He didn’t want it but also didn’t want to throw it away - so I did.
Dad and I have talked about it and after the first of the year we are going to get all of the kids together and go through things and make a list of who gets what of the things that Dad keeps and the rest will either go home with us kids, get donated or find a nice home in the trash.
midlife mommy
Dec 21, 2007 at 11:04 pm
My mother was a pack rat and never threw anything away. Neither did her mother (though her mother was very neat; my mother was not). I am trying to get through 50 years of accumulation with my father now. I am seriously — seriously — contemplating renting an indoor storage place so that I can move things there that I can’t bear to part with that my dad doesn’t want around. Like three sets of china and crystal, for example. I guess that I take after my mother. Sigh.
Amy324
Dec 22, 2007 at 11:58 am
I’m so guilty of this. For example, I still have every piece of artwork the kids made from pre-school and kindergarten. I know they’re not going to want all that, but I don’t know how to part with it. My mom is gradually purging her closets and I thank her for it. Even though she’s making me take all *my* stuff!
Larisa
Dec 22, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Yeah, I gave alot of stuff away after my dad passed. I gave most of it to his 4 brothers and sisters, and a few others who I thought would enjoy the items (records, books, woodworking stuff). Most of what I kept will probably cause me to say WTF? someday but it is mostly memories I’m trying to hold onto, not the stuff. Like my mom’s wooden rolling pin and my dad’s glasses and watch. And it creeps most people out because I keep both of their urns on top of the piano but that’s another post!!
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