Aging Parents
I read this letter to an advice columnist about how a sibling refused to go see his aging parents.
Your first reaction is, “Wow, that shouldn’t be that way”, but, I’ve seen it, and, there are good people out there who do the same thing.
After you rule out someone being crazy or overly selfish, I think it’s important to consider fear. It doesn’t make it OK to abdicate family responsibility, but, there are people who are genuinely afraid to see their aging, or, ill parents.
My brother in law is one of those people.
He didn’t see his father but once while he was ill, and, dying. He just couldn’t handle it.
I don’t know what the answer is, but, it’s important to remember that even adults can be afraid of losing their parents, and, even though they may need to “get over it”, that may be easier said than done.
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2 opinions for Aging Parents
Carol
Nov 23, 2007 at 9:43 am
These adult children have to grow up! FEAR is an excuse, of course we are afraid to see our parents sick or aging but get over it. It is selfish, mean and reflective of our sick society. Any adult child who refuses to help and visit a sick or aging parent is not a “good person.” They are selfish and immature and basically cowards. We have to stop excusing bad behavior and let people know that neglecting a sick or aging parent is as bad as child abuse and neglect.
Diane Boucher
Nov 27, 2007 at 12:42 pm
I’ve watched two of my aging parents suffer horrible, tremendous pain before they died. I can empathize with an adult child that doesn’t want to see their once vibrant, active parent not want to have that image be the last before their parent leaves them forevever. This is the picture I have in my head every morning when I wake until I go to bed, and almost always in my dreams. If you can’t handle it, go say your good-byes and get on with your life; I don’t have one anymore.
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