A question of assistance
Lori, at the Seniors for Living blog needs advice about her fiercely independent mother in law who took a fall at the grocery store:
Yesterday evening I received a frantic phone call from one of her four sisters, who lives nearby. Hope had fallen in the grocery store two days prior, was badly hurt, and refuses to see a doctor. Her forehead is badly bruised, as is her nose, and her left eye is swollen shut. “I don’t think she can live alone,” said her sister.
We all know the right things to say about our aging parents: “When they can’t get around, we’ll get some help” or, “I’ll know when it’s not safe for them to be alone”, but things are not always that black or white when you really have to do it. We don’t always factor in what would happen if they refused help or being unsure if help is actually needed.
Take falling, for example.
My dad, age 75, who lives alone and works full time, fell the other day.
Now, one would think that it’s be pretty straightforward when an older person falls that it might be time for “help”.
I saw him fall, he was getting out of a chair here on vacation and the hem of his shorts got caught on the arm of the chair, and since he was moving kind of fast, it (in his words) “just sort of flung him around”.
He’s fine, and though I’m pretty sure it just simply caught him by surprise and it might have happened to anyone, I have to wonder if his age had something to do with it. If he were younger, would he have been able to recover his balance more easily? Is it a warning sign of impending mobility problems? Or, is it simply a sign of a misplaced chair?
I have no idea, but I thought falling would give me more definitive answers about whether or not I need to do something than it has. My gut says it was just “one of those things”, but I want to be careful not to deny something, too.
Tags: Aging Parents, Senior-Care, Seniors for LivingRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Aging Parents
2 opinions for A question of assistance
susan
Jun 23, 2008 at 11:05 am
There are so many causes of falling, and as we learned in physical therapy school years ago, falling is one of the major causes of death.
Older people fall because of weakness, bad vision, bad balance, osteoporosis (bones breaking and causing the fall rather than vice versa). It’s good to evaluate the reason for the fall. What kind of “help” were you thinking of?
My 86 year old mother falls once or twice a year. She says her legs “just give out” and she can’t support herself. Luckily she hasn’t been severely injured or broken anything, but it’s worrisome.
Nancy B
Jun 24, 2008 at 6:38 am
I agree with Susan. The best thing for this group is to first get a DEXA bone scan to assess their bones. They may need calcium, Vit D or maybe a prescription drug used to keep them from losing more bone.
Next is a balance assessment. They should check with their doctors. And, if they can find a senior center that offers Tai Chi for SENIORS, that’s a good balance strenthening exercise but it needs to be geared to the aging person.
I am going through the same thing with my mom. How do you mediate the desire to remain independent with the knowledge that you have that this person needs help. Tough, very tough times. My best advice: find a true geriatrician to evaluate the person.
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