GenBetween

A Public Service Announcement to Those With Aging Parents

by Elizabeth on March 22nd, 2007

I’ve been a bit introspective lately, what with my uncle’s death, the arrival of Spring, and, my mother’s birthday next week.

It’s not a sadness, really, it’s more of a reflection, about where I am now, versus about a year ago.

It was about this time, or, maybe just a little later, that it became even more apparent that my mother’s cancer was advancing, and, that her death would be a reality, and, something changed within me, too.

When she was first diagnosed, though the news of cancer wasn’t a big surprise, I was scared to death. Of what, I wasn’t entirely sure. Even though I was well into my thirties, this was the first time that something bad had happened that my parents couldn’t fix.

I was kind of catapulted into the realm of “grown-ups with aging parents” on that fine June day, but, I hadn’t realized until then that I wasn’t really a “grown up”.

It wasn’t a conscious thought, but, I have figured out that I had been thinking of my family as the same configuration that I grew up with, and, that my husband and children were just additions to it. I suppose somewhere in my brain, I thought my parents were just going to take care of us all, maybe not literally, but, figuratively.

But, reality, as it is wont to do, reared it’s ugly head, and, I was on my own with this one. I realized it was my turn to be the grown up, and, that my husband and children were my family, now, and, I needed to find my support elsewhere.

I spent a lot of time those next few years waving my arms, saying, “What am I going to do? What am I going to do?”. However, somewhere along the line, it all became OK. It was still sad, but, it was OK. I was living the things I feared, and, know what? I didn’t vaporize, I was still around, and, the sun still rose and set each day.

Still does.

I’m telling you all of this because I know some of you out there are as young as I am, or, even younger, and, just as you have children of your own, you are facing the reality that your parents are getting older, and, it will be very new for you both. Sometimes it can be downright scary, but, I just wanted to let you know that if I, a World Class Worrier, can come to terms with it all, then there’s hope for you.

It really will be OK. That is all.

Share This

Related Stories

Senate Special Committee on Aging
Survey Says
Good things for aging parents
When aging parents need to talk to adult children
A cure for aging?

POSTED IN: Aging Parents, My Father, My Mother