GenBetween

A bit about my mother

by Elizabeth on May 28th, 2006

Just in case there are readers here who don’t know me already, I thought I’d update you on my mother.

If you are just joining in, my membership card to the sandwich generation was issued on June 18, 2003 when my mother (68, at the time) was diagnosed with Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer after complications from a routine surgery. Why, yes, this is 2006, and, she’s still alive. It is, indeed remarkable. Even more remarkable is that she was a long-time smoker (don’t smoke, seriously, OK? I want you to stay around), and, not in the greatest of health before the diagnosis.

Anyway, she started on various chemotherapies, and, did pretty well, all things considered. The cancer didn’t get any better (no one expected it to), but, it didn’t really grow, either. She actually worked full-time until January, 2005, until she contracted some sort of pneumonia that heralded the beginning of her physical decline. She had to go on oxygen, and, has been in and out of the hospital since.

She had a resurgence of sorts last summer, when she decided she was able to go on our annual beach trip after thinking the year before was the last time. Looking back, I now see what a gift that was.

She did pretty well at home with a companion/sitter person during the day (my dad works full-time, and, she has been very weak) until late fall when her breathing difficulties increased, though the cancer itself really didn’t worsen. She did have an episode that was thought to be a heart attack, and, after extensive evaluation, it was determined that she did indeed have a heart attack with significant blockage, but, it had apparently occured in the past. No symptoms, go figure. Until then, it was thought that her heart was one of her only vital organs that worked correctly!

Anyway, over the past few months, she has had trouble with fluid on her lungs, which, if you have had any experience with cancer, is not a good sign. She’s had it drained a number of times with some pretty good results, but, as expected, it has always returned.

About a month ago, she started having abdominal pain and weight loss, and, it was determined that her cancer had spread to her liver. She began hospice care in her home, and, has declined pretty rapidly since then. She is alert and oriented and everything, but, is sleeping more and more, which is not like her. She gets up to the bathroom with minimal assistance, but, that’s about all she does, and, I don’t think that will last much longer.

So, there you have it. It’s really amazing how well she’s done. We knew this day would come when she wouldn’t do well, but, it’s hard to take, anyway. My dad and I have made funeral arrangements, and, we went to the cemetary last week to pick out a spot. I can’t imagine being my dad, because he was picking out his own gravesite, too.

I suppose she doesn’t have too much longer with us, but, there’s no way to know, really.Today, however, I think I got a clue. It’s the first time she’s ever said that she wasn’t up to seeing my kids for a visit.

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