May 15th, 2008
There’s an excellent post at Caring.com by Paula Spencer.
In Questions I Wish I Had Asked Mom, Spencer brings up a good point, I wish I had asked my mother more questions about her side of things when she was dying.
It’s hard toward the end, because you are tuned into taking care of “business” and attending to physical needs.
Other than the types of questions in the article, the thing I most wish I had asked my mother was, “How do you know?” the day she told us she “had to go”.
While I fully realize that was probably none of my business, she was lucid and would have realized that had never stopped me before.
I felt a little guilty about wanting to know that until my father admitted he wished he had asked it, too.
Tags: Caring.com, death-of-a-parentShare This
By Elizabeth -- 2 comments
May 14th, 2008
My good buddy, Hoss, needs no introduction, you just need to go over there and read about his take on being what some perceive as “old”.
Tags: Aging, Old Horsetail Snake, on being oldShare This
By Elizabeth -- 1 comment
May 13th, 2008
As the workforce ages, so do their parents and workers who are absent from their jobs to care for their parents cost their employers a lot of money.
Some statistics say that it’s a wide spread issue:
According to Barbara McVicker, author of the new book “Stuck in the Middle…shared stories and tips for caregiving your elderly parents”, 50-70 million Americans provide caregiver support to their elderly loved ones
And other stats from the Council on Aging in Silicon Valley include:
- 70% of those who are working TAKE TIME OFF to provide this care
- 15% of them QUIT THEIR JOBS when full-time care is needed for their elderly loved ones
- California businesses (and in all states) lose BILLIONS of dollars and lost productivity EACH YEAR due to their employees handling elder care of their loved ones
I don’t know that the answer is since both sides, employee and employer, each have responsibilities, but I do think we’re going to have to continue to find ways to support those workers with aging parents and caregiver duties because they will be away from work on more than a few occasions.
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By Elizabeth -- 1 comment
May 12th, 2008
Please keep Shai and her family in your prayers or whatever it is you do.
Her father had a stroke and things aren’t looking so good.
She has young children and live some distance away from her parents.
Tags: Shai Coggins, strokeShare This
By Elizabeth -- 0 comments
May 11th, 2008
A Happy Mother’s Day to all, I hope you’ve enjoyed your day.
Admittedly, my second Mother’s Day without a mother is still a little odd, for me, but, well, not much I can do about that.
However, my dad stepped up and called me today. He was worried that the day was “almost over” and that he was late with his good wishes. Actually, I don’t think he’s ever called me, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t see why he has to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day since I’m not his mother.
You have to understand, though, that his own mother (for whom I am named, but I never met) was a pretty stern lady and there’s no telling what he was told about Mother’s Day when he was growing up.
I had a nice day, nothing terribly busy. My daughter babysat for her brothers so my husband and I could go out to eat, that was very nice and nobody ended up bruised or battered, either.
I’d call that a success.
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By Elizabeth -- 0 comments
May 9th, 2008
The New York Times blog, Shifting Careers has an article about working after a death in the family.
When my mother died (nearly 2 years ago? Really?) I was away from work for nearly 2 weeks. I am blessed with friends and a wonderful workplace, so things were fine, yet I worried anyway.
But, when I returned to work, it took an enormous amount of time for me to get my mind back at work, too.
Actually, my mind was pretty much on leave during her illness, too, but you just kind of go into survival mode and muddle through.
I have no sage advice, I suspect it takes different amounts of time for different people to recover, but if it becomes disruptive to your job or life, it might be wise to seek help.
Otherwise, just give it time, it gets better.
Tags: New-York-Times, Shifting Careers, working after a death in the familyShare This
By Elizabeth -- 1 comment
May 8th, 2008
Researchers at the University of Massachusetts Amherst have developed a robot that can be used to assist an elderly person by dialing 911, issuing medication reminders, grocery shopping, interact with family and caregivers and more:
It can also recognize an abnormal visual event, such as a fall, and notify a remote medical caregiver. Through an interface, the remote service provider may ask the client to speak, smile or raise both arms, movements that the robot can demonstrate. If the person is unresponsive, the robot can call 911, alert family and apply a digital stethoscope to a patient, conveying information to an emergency medical technician who is en route.
The system also tracks what isn’t human. If a delivery person leaves a package in a hallway, the sensor array is trained to notice when a path is blocked, and the robot can move the obstruction out of the way. It can also raise its outstretched arms, carry a load of about 2.2 pounds and has the potential to perform household tasks that require a fair amount of dexterity, including cleaning and grocery shopping.
I think this is fascinating and there’s certainly an application for this type of assistance, but in my own experience, the type of elder care that causes stress for families is the need for physical support with ambulation, activities of daily living, bathing, toileting, cooking and feeding.
If someone lives alone and can operate this type of device, then they might not be at the stage that depletes financial and emotional resources and this is where we need the changes in elder care.
But, it’s still nifty.
Tags: robots and elder careShare This
By Elizabeth -- 1 comment
May 7th, 2008
A wonderful Mother’s Day tribute from Carol at Mothering Mother and More:
I miss Mother when I go to the grocery store. Since I’m no longer eligible to park in the parking spaces for the handicapped, I must walk by the light blue and white lines as I head across the parking lot that no longer takes me ten minutes to cross. I see Mother grip the handle of the grocery cart and remember the freedom this rolling walker gave her.
Read the rest.
I can so relate, it is the little things you miss.
For me, it’s the Spring Lands’ End catalog.
My mother used to love ordering bathing suits and pajamas for the kids each spring. Sometimes, she’d decide they needed a beach bag and some clothes, too. Nothing earth shattering, but just a small thing.
Now it just kind of makes me sad to see the catalog or buy the kids bathing suits and pajamas.
My dad would be happy to continue to buy the things for the kids, as long as I picked them out and ordered them.
Not quite the same.
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By Elizabeth -- 1 comment
May 6th, 2008
With summer (hopefully) around the corner for many of us, it’s always good review warm weather safety.
An Australian study suggest that older people don’t drink enough water and become easily dehydrated because their thirst signal can be diminished:
The researchers aren’t sure whether thirst signals from the body or the interpretation of these signals by the brain cause the problem, said study author Gary Egan, an associate professor at the University of Melbourne.
Knowledge of this lack of coordination may make it easier to motivate older people “to make sure they are actively re-hydrating because there is a clear reason why they are not necessarily aware of their own need to drink,” Egan said.
Heat sickness can happen fast and can be very dangerous, especially for the children and the elderly.
I can see this in my dad, somewhat.
Last year, we had record breaking temperatures and humidity as well as a massive drought.
When he was outside and when we were at the beach, I had to physically hand him water to drink, or he never would have thought of it. Even then, he was a bit puzzled why I kept handing it
Be careful out there and make sure your parents and grandparents know the importance of staying hydrated even when they don’t “feel thirsty”.
Tags: elderly and dehydration, thirst signalShare This
By Elizabeth -- 3 comments
May 5th, 2008
When my dad became a teacher at age 58, he had to learn how to use a computer pretty quickly.
Yes, old dog, new tricks.
He has done remarkably well over the years, but I still have to help him with a lot of computer related things. He gets frustrated because he has to “bother” me sometimes, but even online tutorials and directions give him trouble.
I checked out PC.com (I have no relation to them, I just thought it looked like a cool site), a site for “real people” with “real questions” looking for simple answers to computer stuff because I thought it might be good for seniors wanting to learn computer skills.
There are videos, articles, expert advice and “how-tos” all in easy to understand formats and it looks like a great resource.
(via Pioneer Woman)
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By Elizabeth -- 0 comments
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